Saturday, July 29, 2017
"Sometimes you will never know the value of a moment until it becomes a memory."
"Time is free, but it's priceless
You can't own it, but you can use it
You can't keep it, but you can spend it
Once you've lost it, you can never get it back"
I don't feel like I'm 38. Most days I still feel like I'm 12 or 13, riding my bike down the big hill by my house, jumping the ditch and vaulting up the steps to my house. Hearing the bell at school, walking to class, going to church, riding in my best friend's old black Ford truck. Age is a strange fluid thing, caught up in an often off balance dance with time.
My children are 13 and 10. Which seems about right. Time hasn't flown by, to be honest, I just wish that sometimes I could learn to live in the moment a little better. Cherish it a little longer, enjoy it with more passion and pay more attention to every detail. Because once it's tomorrow today is no more.
My 3 little brothers are 30, 26 and 23. I still remember changing diapers, feeding, driving them around in the baby strollers, carrying them on my hip. Now they are doing adult things, studying, working. Making their own moments to live in and enjoy.
I sat up in my bed 2 nights ago and read with my daughter. It reminded me of doing that very same thing many years ago when she was much younger. Even at 13 you really aren't too old to be read to, and I enjoyed every minute of it, I think she may have liked it too. I gathered up the recycling with my son yesterday and we talked about Harry Potter, a book series I suggested he read and bought the first book for him (he is only about half way through the first book). We talked about the "houses" in the series and whether or not the house you are sorted into determines how you act. Sort of a nature vs. nurture idea. I love discussing ideas like that, my son is so smart.
I admit that at times I do want time to slow down, I do want this moment with my kids to last longer. Because soon they'll be grown and I'll wonder where all the time has gone. But the time hasn't really gone anywhere. We've just wasted it. We've wasted it on our phones, we've wasted it on tv. We've wasted it on social media and useless things. We've wasted it sitting in the room together, not paying a bit of attention to each other.
One thing that I've noticed after talking to so many people at my job working in the prison system. They notice the time. They notice the importance of it. And they know what they've wasted.