Hugs over Handshakes

Hugs Over Handshakes...




We have all sorts of individualized rituals in our communities, states, countries and even amongst peer, social groups and best friends.  Secret handshakes, certain phrases with a specialized meaning.  Inside jokes, levels of respect that key in on certain people groups differently or single others out.

In many parts of the world we have the handshake, it's a respectful, if informal, way to greet someone.  Your handshake says a lot about you.  Case in point, President Trump's says a lot about him.  We'll leave that for another day but if you care to read more about that particular issue you can check out this interesting article

A Closer Look at Trump's Handshakes

While the handshake is a very Westernized greeting it is well known worldwide as a common greeting just like the traditional gesture of bowing is not only known in Asian cultures but is highly publicized and practiced in other cultures and traditions worldwide.

The idea of rituals got me thinking of a ritual that we, at least in the community I am a part of, practice.  Maybe you practice it too.  When you encounter someone you know, or don't know, or don't know that well; a common practice, to break the awkwardness, to pass pleasantries, is to communicate with some form of the following:

Person 1:  How's it going?
Person 2:  Pretty good, how 'bout you?
Person 1:  Pretty good, pretty good.

Sound about right?  The million variations that inevitably swim through your head as you read this depend on a few variables.  How well do you know the person who is approaching you?  What time of day is it?  How old are you and the other person?  What is the context of the conversation?  There are more variables but this is a blog post not a paper so we'll leave it at that for now.  So here's another example:

Person1:  Mornin'!
Person2:  Mornin'!  You doin' all right t'day?!
Person1:  I'm doin' I'm doin' !  How 'bout ya'self?
Person2:  Can't complain!

I've got 50 other examples but 2 will suffice.  But instead of asking how people are doing all the time.  Which no one cares about anyway.  I want to offer an alternative.  I just thought about this as I was waking up from a nap.  What if instead of all the small talk, we just went with a "Hey!" and moved in for a hug?  I mean there are different variations of small talk with different variables, how about different levels of hugs?  We are such a divisive and distant society.  Maybe something as simple as changing a simple greeting with some physical contact would do us some good.  Oh it's a silly example I know but sillier things have been suggested. 

 Here are some variations for fun.

For the people you don't know that well:  Pat 2 times with a giant brief hug.

For the people you know well but haven't seen in forever:  Grab firmly and hug tightly while patting on the back over and over, number of times may vary.

For the people you are just being polite to:  Brief embrace with one brief pat and a nice smile.

For the people you see all the time and have to constantly hug and are tired of hugging:  Hug briefly like a giant handclap, one time on the back, big embrace.  Boom your done.

More hugs, less drugs.  More embracing less complaining.  Less small talk and more real talk.  More being genuine and less fear from embracing others.  We all need each other.